okayyyyyyy
so how can i teach my BF wat type of woman he has. No games please...just good ';soul'; advice that will hopefully help me find some type of strengh and love for myself so that he can see that energy. Im tired of crying and yelling. Im too good for this. Half of you will say to break up with him but thats not an option. Even though I am saying all of this, truth is we are in love. Our problem is respect! He doesnt respect me. My feelings, my pain and my anger seem to not affect him. He doesnt give me a shoulder to cry on, or anything. I tell him something he goes ';ah, baby';. I know some guys hate the nagging cry of their girl but if you in ';love'; (and YES we are) then I would expect some deep care and he doesnt give me that. How can this change? Please give me advice like you would to a sister. Im hurt guys =[Guys...need your advice!!!!!!!!!?
I think the ultimate answer to your question is probably going to be the one you don't want: whether it's because of what kind of person he is or because of how your relationship has developed, he's not providing you with the support that you need (and that, frankly, everybody deserves from time to time) and it might just mean that you aren't right for each other. But it doesn't sound like you're ready to give up, so here's a couple things to think about:
First, try to figure out if it's his personality type or your connection with him. Some guys can detect the slightest hint of distress and (within reason) will drop everything and talk, listen, hug, whatever is needed; others care deep down but don't know how to react to emotional problems. Most are probably somewhere in between. So your problem could be that he just isn't the right type of guy for you. If he has never been particularly sensitive to your distress and he doesn't seem like the ';touchy-feely'; type with his close friends and family, then it probably just means he's not comfortable dealing with emotions the same way as you. If on the other hand he used to be more attentive or it seems only to be with you that he behaves this way, it's probably just a bad pattern that has arisen and (perhaps) can be fixed.
Second, the kind of care you want really needs to be a two way street. Ask yourself if you have been insensitive to his feelings before, even if it meant not picking up on subtle cues he was trying to leave for you. And be as honest as you can with yourself. Being responsive and having good communication in a relationship is something to which both people have to be dedicated or one party will feel slighted. And remember that men sometimes deal with stress and anxiety differently from women; rather than crying or getting overtly angry, maybe he needs to escape into a video game or a violent movie or something from time to time. Being attentive to him means understanding how he deals with stress and being supportive.
Third, make sure you're not loading him up with too much baggage. He should be there for you when you are facing big problems and major changes, but helping a troubled girlfriend can be very draining. If his life isn't completely together or if he's under a lot of pressure from work, it could be just too much for him to help you deal with your problems as well. So maybe you could try dealing with the little things on your own as much as you can, and when you come to him with the big things say ';please, I really need your help';. It could be that you're coming off as too ';needy'; in the status quo.
Ultimately, no matter what the real problem is, you just have to talk to him about this. Tell him that you need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, and that you have needs that he isn't meeting. Don't phrase it as an ultimatum (even if that is what it ends up becoming), just tell him very nicely that there is a problem and ask him to try to improve. And don't just think of it as teaching him what kind of woman you are; also think of it as learning about what kind of man he is. Go half way, make some compromises, and ask yourself some hard questions if he doesn't meet you in the middle.Guys...need your advice!!!!!!!!!?
tell him no sex until he respects u that is 100% guarantee.
talk to him and tell him and if he doesn't listen tell him no sex,blow jobs,or any thing to do with intercourse.
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