Guys, I have a self-image problem...advice?

Lately I've been feeling down and insecure about why a guy would like me.





It all started when my ex (which I broke up with.. and then later wanted back but he said no) got a new gf. She's 20..while both me and him are 27. She cute, latina, no education, not sure what job she has (nor do I care).





I'm pretty tall, thin, fit, with long blonde hair and usually pretty upbeat and happy with what God gave me. Thank God I am healthy and I have family and friends, that's what counts.





But lately I feel very, very down. I feel ugly and unpretty and insecure and I notice and magnify all my physical faults (I don't like my skin...too pale, too sensitive to makeup... my eyes with dark circles and puffy etc..some fine lines).





All these make me kind of want to hide. Why would a guy want me, physically speaking? I mean they go for the 20 year olds with tanned skin...while I'm blonde with light skin.





I feel depressed, I need some advice. This is not vanity, it's just sadness:(Guys, I have a self-image problem...advice?
you forgot to mention anything pertaining to cups. can't help ya.Guys, I have a self-image problem...advice?
Don't feel bad, looks shouldn't count when your looking for partner.If your partner truly loves you, he won't care about how you look on the outside, but how you look in the inside.


All these guys who just go after girls who look cute have no morals in my opinion.Life isn't about you look it's about what type of person you are.





And the only reason your feeling down is because your ex, started dating a 20 year old girl.And that makes you think ';do i really look that bad?that he needs to find someone younger?'; I'm sure a lot of people consider you to be a pretty girl. So don't take looks seriously, they won't get any where far in the real world.


So chin-up..
Ok, listen up.... as for the new girlfriend, that is a guy thing. He's 27 and wants a young impressionable girl who looks at him like a puppy.


Yes, you sound like complete opposites..20, short, Latin...you: 27, tall, blond, fit. But who cares? Different people have different interests and like certain looks.


As for myself: I prefer girls who look like you (as you have described yourself). I love tall, thin, athletic girls. But that is my preference.


You are blond, you should have less melanin in your skin, genetics and evolutionary history.. Northern Europeans. Any blond who is dark is a fake-n-bake queen.


Lines, wrinkles,circles... they happen. I turned 30 last year and I had a fit when I noticed I had a gray hair.. a single gray hair! Then I figured out I was one vain SOB if that was my biggest issue in life.


Workout everyday, exercise, take care of your skin and body and you will age to perfection. Not to mention it sounds like you have a great personality.


It sounds like lots of guys would be happy to be on your arm.





AMENDMENT: after reading your additional comments; you are unstable.
It's because she's young and has a newness about her. You're pushing 30 and he see's her youthfull ways as exciting. You broke up with him so there's nothing you can really do except move on and quit feeling sorry for yourself. I think you may be having issues with getting older.
i know how you feel, i get like that all the time, when i have no reason to either.


just look at yourself and point out all the qualities you love, i know it sounds cliche but it will help, and don't compare yourself to someone else, everyone is different.


you'll find someone who loves everything about you.


good luck =]
Stop looking at the things you see as imperfections as a fualt and look at them as what makes you, you. These things are differences not faults. Self worth is not really based on what you look like but how you feel about yourself. There are so many great looking women who feel that they are ugly because of things that one day someone will find special about them.


I am hot, even if Iam theonly person on earth that thinks that. So put your chin up and remember that people will value you only if you give of a high value vibe. Power of suggestion.


Good luck.
ur thinking is correct and justified. for the skin issues u can consult a dermatologist or go to a skin clinic... secondly... don't underestimate urself becoz of ur physical drawbacks.. it's the qualities in a person that counts not the physical attractiveness... although for many the physical looks does matter. Also try doing some Yoga exercises which will help restore peace in ur mind and soul. good luck.
It's probably just some pre-menstrual blues girl, but hey here's my advice:


- go online and google all the celebrities who are similar to you in features or bodybuild.


- establish your own style. Your confidence will be greatly boosted if you are confident with your personal style. Is it the trendy long black scarf you twirl so chic around your neck, or your ecclectic or rock chic style? establish one or a few.


- dont waste time fretting, feeling blue and blaming yourself. Get up, go to the gym, go for a swim. Make a resolution to something. NOW. get a fake tan, or accentual your lovely skin with some pink tones, pink blusher.


Eat comfort food whenever you're feeling down or listen to your fav upbeat songs....
Not all men want 20year olds with tanned skin. Some/ most men love blondes, and if you are as pale as you say you are, invest in a good bronzer or fake tan (I recommend Hoola by Benefit or Famous Daves Fake Tan) As you say, ';I'm pretty tall, thin, fit, with long blonde hair and usually pretty upbeat and happy with what God gave me. Thank God I am healthy and I have family and friends, that's what counts.'; You're right, that is what counts.


It seems to me that you do usually have high self-esteem, but because of your ex, you now feel insecure- who doesn't? Believe me, Everyone, and I mean everyone, goes through this at one stage. You just have to learn to get through it. Your ex seems like an ***, so don't think about that loser! He's going out with a dosser who has no education and has no dreams for the future. When he's done with her, he's going to come crawling back to you, but you turn him down.


Any guy would kkill to have you. Good luck, you're beautiful!


xoxo
Well...firstly you could stop whyning....sorry to be blunt but besides attracting a very bad kind of attention you're not doing much here. If you think that you need to change your body to the type that girl has, wouldn't you be trying to attract the exact same type of males as your ex? Wouldn't that be bad considering how your ex turned out? Wouldn't it be better if instead of trying to change youself or having a pity party on yahoo you went out to try to find someone that liked you for you? I'm sure that would end up much better...


Think it through...
OK first you need to realize that you shouldn't be comparing yourself to someone else. There is somebody out there for everybody. You need to stop putting yourself down and realize that no matter what you look like you are a good person on the inside and if you think that needs work that do that. Do things to improve yourself that you can be proud of. And quit stressing over a man's approval. Looks aren't everything and they fade with time but at the end of the day you still have your personality, your experiences and you education so work on that go out have fun, read books, and do things to improve you. Love yourself first and then when you do that then worry about guys.
i'm blonde with extremely pale skin and i know what you're talking about. sometimes i feel insecure because every other girl has a good, dark tan except me. but just embrace it. we're different. when everyone else tans and fake-bakes, at least we look different with the skin tone God gave us.





and you're probably feeling ugly and not pretty because your boyfriend and you split up. there's nothing to worry about. plenty of other guys will appreciate your looks, no lie. (: and besides, be lucky that you have a killer body. 'cos nowadays in america, most people are blobs. and you aren't!
Well if ur getting hit on by '22 yr old guys every weekend', it must mean ur NOT ugly. Sorry to break it 2 u, but it sounds like u haven't gotten over ur old bf. It's too bad that it's affecting ur self image. Get over him and u'll get over these insecurities. May I even suggest fooling around w/ one of these 22 yr olds. Giggidy giggidy allllllllright!
all you need is a friend that compliments you a lot, i had a friend like that and all i did was compliment her until she was happy again...
Guess what? I'd pick you up right now if I were around you.





You are pretty, tall, thin, healthy... plus you have the advantage of being blessed with maturity, and understanding that only comes with age. What more can a guy want. And trust me the guy wasn't worth it if he left you for a 20 year old with no education.





You are worth more than you know. And trust me again, soon you'll find someone who will fell blessed to realize he's found you.





Don't feel low for ignorance. Feel happy that you are given an opportunity to be with someone who will respect and love you what all the beautiful things you are.





Muuuah! Take care... chin up... and you are the best!
Hey there girl :) I know exactly how you feel. After a previous relationship that ended badly, I thought ';well, if he broke up with me for someone else, there must be something wrong with me!'; I was in this deep sadness and gloom stage. I thought nobody would ever like me again. When I looked in the mirror, I saw an insecure girl with a lot of superficial problems.





Then, after going out and meeting some new people (not even men, just new friends), I realized that people love me for all the amazing things I offer - same with you! You sound like a great, appreciative person from the inside out! That's a great quality to have, and something people will love about you!





It's true that guys are attracted to confidence. Even if you don't feel your best, just strut your stuff anyways! Recognize that you have a lot of gifts and qualities that are unique and great. If you're feeling self-conscious, maybe you could go tanning a few times with summer approaching, or get a manicure or pedicure. These little things may make your confidence higher, and make you feel good about yourself. :)





Good luck to you, feel free to email me anytime! hayleesapphires@yahoo.com





Hope this helped :)
Spend more time alone to become mroe comfortable with yourself. Thats what worked for me. You have to become more comfortable in your skin.
Stop it. Right now. Seriously...there are so many things you should be grateful for. Remember, it could be much MUCH worse.
Ok, you have to stare at yourself naked in the mirror. Go over every body part and tell yourself you are beautiful. I have to do this all the time because my insecurities get the best of me some days. You sound beautiful. We all have flaws, we don't know why he chose her but you have got to stop comparing yourself. I have to tell myself this all the time. My boyfriend ex is ugly. Tattoos everywhere, a smoker and just gross. I always wonder why he ever liked her because we are sooooo opposite. Thinking about them together will only make you feel worse, like it does for me. You are not with him for a reason, even if you are lonely. Go buy this book and you will feel like a new woman--';It's called a breakup because it's broken.'; It will make you laugh and cry. It's awesome. It got me through some of the toughest times. Go buy some sexy panties--that makes me feel better. Also give yourself a little makeover and do it for you and no one else. You are beautiful!!!!! Remember, everyday spent with the wrong man is a day less spent with the right man!
Get some meds and talk to a therapist
souns like you need a tan, and a make over.
Everyone is beautiful, In their own way. So don't feel sad, You are beautiful. You need some ice cream and a nice walk in the park with someone you love.
Every guy has different types, all you have to do is be more sociable and talk with the other guys out there
well i have kind of the same problem ive always gotten rejected and thought i was ugly until finally somone came u just have to keep your head up and tell yourself ur pretty
No all guys do not go for that.. Just da one you had.. Girl.. dont beat yourself up about it.. I know da feeling.. I wondered why my childs father would leave me for someone who looks like a man.. is excessively ghetto..and too illiterate for words..


I mean the only thing abt her that he might like..is she is small and petite.. Where im just average(but not fat) 5'5 135. She is like 5'2 and 115. and she has beautiful hair.. so I beat myself up abt it.. but in the end I had to realize.. he is a jerk.. The girl was 17 when he strted messing with her.. and is now 19.and he is 24, he just likes younger girls..b/c he can run his games on them.. he is a felon..recently got out of jail..and has several kids(women didnt know until already pregnant) but she is still with him..no car no job... it gets worse.





But you just have to let go, and realize it just wasnt meant to be.. B/c no matter how you look.. if a guy truly loves and wants you.. YOu could look like da hunchback of notre dame..and he will still be in love..





But My happy ending is that i found someone..who i have been with for 2 years and he is accepting of me..and my imperfections..


So maybe you willl too.