Hi guys! l'm looking for some opinions/advice on foster care. l'm nearly ready to get my first child, l just

have to finish the training course. Let me explain my situation: l'm single, and looking after a family member as a disibility carer, so l'm technically 'at home' at the moment. Anyway, l've always wanted to foster or adopt a child instead of having a baby. No special reason, l just know l can love any child as my own, so l might as well help those kids out there who need it right now. l'm really looking forward to fostering, and some of my family and most of my friends are very supportive too, so that's really cool. BUT, more than a few people have made it clear that they don't consider what l'm doing to be ';real'; parenting. l know how the foster system works, l'm not under any impression that l'll get to 'keep' the kids forever, but to me it's as real as parenting gets. l've explained this to everyone l know, and they understand that this is a clear choice for me, it's not just something l'm doing for novelty (l'm beoming a long term/permanet foster parent, with a view toHi guys! l'm looking for some opinions/advice on foster care. l'm nearly ready to get my first child, l just
This is a tough question, l'm sure you'll get a wide range of opinions on this. ln my experience (as a foster parent), there was no difference for us between the commitment to our bio kids, and that to our fostered kids. However, not everyone saw it that way. My advice to you would be, if it really really bothers you, address the issue now! Maybe you could just have a gentle talk with your family/friends, and explain that you're feeling a little left out of the loop, that you've made a parenting choice, which is something for a family to celebrate, but you don't feel as if others take it seriously. However, don't expect much to change, there are always some people who believe that their way is the only way, and however hard you try, you won't always be 'accepted' for choosing to foster children rather than have them. l applaud you for following your heart with this, it isn't easy, especially when you face adverstiy from others, but don't ever go through your life waiting for other people to validate you! As far as gifts for the child/ren, it sounds like you've been very kind to others in the past, what a shame that they can't return those kind gestures now. lt would be lovely for people to come forward with small gifts for you, just as we do when someone is pregnant, and l realise that does hurt. Try to tell yourself though, that you are doing this for the children, and you as their parent will provide them with everything they need, both emotionally and materially. Good luck with everything, and congratulations!Hi guys! l'm looking for some opinions/advice on foster care. l'm nearly ready to get my first child, l just
First off, what you are doing is ';real parenting';, and often, it can be even more difficult, because you are bringing a child into your home that has potential emotional/physical problems, so I applaud you! So, the advice I have to give you is, be patient. Do you really NEED whatever they may have given you? It may not feel nice to not be given things to in return, but that's not why you treated these people so well, and gave them so much. You did it because you cared. That's all that matters. If they don't give you stuff, so be it. Don't spend so much money on them the next time. Good luck, and thanks, because it's people like you who are helping make these kids into wonderful adults!
Of course it is not wrong to feel the way you do -- we are entitled to our feelings. But let's face it -- you do not have your child yet. And some people will never see this as the same as adoption (or birth). But fostering is some of THE most important, meaningful parenting parenting there is!





When I became a foster mother many years ago, I remember one friend (total) bringing by a huge container of baby powder (back when we actually used baby powder -- we know it's dangerous now!) as a foster baby gift. I was surprised and thought it was very sweet.





Don't read too much into this. People are pretty conservative when it comes to these kinds of outside of the box events. And, just be cautious that you are not already putting too much into this emotionally -- like having really high expectations of fostering! Because if you are -- you will get hurt. There is a lot of loss and grief associated with fostering. You have to be strong, when this little precious child you care for, nurture, and love, gets sent to his bio parents for a visit and comes back angry or sad or withdrawn. Worse yet, is returned to once abusive parents who abuse your little child again. You may be in for a rough ride, but one you will always be so thankful for taking. You have an opportunity to contribute so much to a child who needs a loving, patient mom to hold onto.





Good luck!!
Some people just don't get it. You have a right to be annoyed. I would simply ask people why they can't be supportive of you when you have tried to always support them. They may just not know what is appropriate or what you need from them, and hopefully will ask what they can do. If they remain obstinate and ignorant, well too bad for them....simply go on as positively and joyfully as you can.





Good for you on the fostering, and I hope it is as enriching for you as it is for the children whose lives you touch :)
Girl, get ready! Fosters are so needed. Just be prepared for your open honest loving and nuturing to be openly and honestly rejected by the kid's self defense mechanisms. Go on giving the love and the trust will develope. Walk closely with your spiritual side as this love that you are constantly giving away will need to be replenished. The joy recieved by being a foster parent is unmatched by anything known to man.
your a 'bleeding heart' like me!





i know how you feel, but these kids are in foster care because their parents can't care for them, and they stay in foster care because there is no one else to love them either....it's sad but it's true. no one is going to love these kids the way you do!





i'm also a certafied foster parent. i haven't accepted any kids, cause i just had my own and don't want to endager my kids by inviting kids into my home whom i don't know.





but i want to reach out and help all those kids so bad that it hurts me!!.......so,





i think what your doing is great!! a million kids need the love your willing to give!! it's a shame that everyone can't see that....your going to be great cause it feels like you are doing it for the kids, not for the money...which unfortunately, some poeple do. i hope everything works out for you. don't be nervous, just be ready to work cause some @sswhole has hurt most of these kids and their not ready to just return love like your ready to give it.





and this is real parenting.





your stepping up when real parents have stepped out.





your the greatest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





-hbb