Advice from independant women (u too guys) on my comment to my sister. Was I wrong?

We have (or had in my case) a mutual friend. That woman and I haven't spoken in about a year b/c of an instance with my removing my child when her's arrived b/c her child was recovering from something contagious that my child was hospitalized for and I didn't want to take chances. Well, she certainly held that against me.





Anyway, so she calls my sister the other day after a long time (she didn't call me which is fine) and my sister tells me this. So I comment ';Oh that's nice, it's good to hear she's doing fine. SHe didn't call me though!'; We had a chuckle over that and then she said ';Really?'; and I said ';Yes, u remember the incident with the virus. Truth is, I've outgrown our friendship'; The latter is true although by my sister maintaining a friendship with her she may have found my comment insulting to her b/c she said ';Oh you're being mean'; I said ';No, I'm being realistic honey'; LOL, I love my sis although we are 10 years apart and we've never been that close.





Was I insulting to admit that there are friendships that you outgrow and kind of say ';good riddance'; to and our mutual acquaintance just happens to be the one I've accepted as no longer a friend? I've not enjoyed her company in a long time but my sister does.





If you can get past the drama * I see the guys rolling their eyes!* what do you think of my comment?





Thanks guys, I appreciate your input.Advice from independant women (u too guys) on my comment to my sister. Was I wrong?
I think perhaps you worded your comment wrong?





I mean, when you say ';I outgrew the friendship,'; it makes it seem like you think you are better or more mature than her, which could be really offensive to her since she's still friends with her. Basically she could take it as you saying that you outgrew the friendship because you were better or more mature than her, which hurts her because she's still friends with her, so what does that say about her? However what I think you meant was to say ';We grew apart.'; Meaning, you just grew apart, drifted, changed. Not necessarily one is better than the other, just two different people who went in two different paths. I think perhaps that's what you meant (at least I hope it is). On the one hand, I think it's very immature and possibly hurtful to say that you outgrew someone because it means you think you're better than them. On the other hand, it's very classy to simply say that the two of you just grew apart and leave it at that. Perhaps you could explain to your sister, if she's upset by your comment, that you meant that you grew apart, not that you outgrew here.





As for this whole scenario, yes, there's drama. However, it all seems to be stemming from you. She didn't call you or bother you or say anything negative about you to your sister. Why did you have to go and say negative things about her to your sister? You say her not calling you was ';fine,'; but if it truly was you would have done the classy thing and not made comments about her or told stories about past events with her or had a laugh at her expense. So... you might want to keep your own drama in perspective.Advice from independant women (u too guys) on my comment to my sister. Was I wrong?
WTF have YOU been smoking???!
You said nothing mean. I really do not understand what your sister meant by her comment.
I think you're right in this situation and what you said was neither mean nor inappropriate. It's not like you sat there for 10 minutes going on and on with mean remarks about this woman who is your sister's friend - perhaps THAT would've been mean. But you're absolutely right. In life, there are most certainly friends that you ';outgrow.'; I've had plenty. You grow and change and sometimes friendships grow along with that and sometimes they fall by the wayside. There's nothing mean about that - it's just life. If your sister gets something out of her friendship with this lady, then great - she has to determine what works for HER in her own friendships. And by that same token, you have to determine what works for YOU and in this instance, you determined her friendship wasn't something worth salvaging. That's fine for you too. As long as you both respect each other's decisions, then I don't see a problem. From now on, however, if she brings up her name, I would just dispense with pleasantries and let the subject pass. Don't let this woman be a thorn that comes between the 2 of you.