Advice about a controlling egotistical hubby? Anyone? Guys' especially!!!?

My hubby is the most arrogant controlling man alive I think!! He has to be in charge of EVERYTHING!!! He came in for lunch talking about how his buddies have to have their wives ok everything. He says HE has to control our money b/c he doesn't screw things up! I over drafted once several years ago by mistake and he throws that up in my face anytime I say anything about it. The account is in MY name b/c his crackheaded mother stole his checks once and wrote alot of bad checks. He says he has to control everything b/c HE don't ';screw everything up!'; Everything's always MY fault and if something happens to be his fault,it's b/c of something I DID! We were separated a few years ago,he got a $700 a week meth habbit,blamed ME for it b/c he said he was so worried about me all the time and he didn't want to sleep b/c he ';dreamed'; about me all the time! What a load of sh*t!!!!! He's in collage,makes straight A's,and is a great worker. I'm afraid he's let this go to his head. Everyone tells him how great he is,and he IS a good worker and a smart guy,but he won't act like an *** when everyone else is around and I'm scared nobody will believe me. I was a waitress when we met and although I'm finishing up nursing this fall,he told me I COULD NOT pick up a part time waitressing job b/c......and I quote,';ALL waitresses are bar whores';. Guys (and girls) What is his problem?! Why does he act like this? He told me that right now it's ';his way or the highway';!!! I wish there was a way he could get a big dose of humility! Why is he like this and what can I do to tolerate him. Yes....I love him and he used to not be this way. He's a good guy and I told him he sounds so insecure but of course I';m wrong lol!! Can anyone help me? PLEASE?!Advice about a controlling egotistical hubby? Anyone? Guys' especially!!!?
Are you asking how to change him? Because, you can't. In life, the only people we have the power to change is ourselves. You picked an arrogant, controlling, egotistical man for a husband - too late now! I recommend you start ignoring the behavior you don't like and rewarding the behavior you do like. At least this would make you feel better about yourself.Advice about a controlling egotistical hubby? Anyone? Guys' especially!!!?
His placing the blame on you and your actually accepting it are two different things. Live life the way that you want to and if he doesn't accept that, then it is HIS fault. If one half of the couple refuses to communicate, then the couple as a whole will fail.
You said his mother was a drug addict. That being said he probably had a chaotic childhood. Due to the chaos he is compelled now, to maintain control over everyone and everything. He needs counseling.
Get on the highway as he says. And drive drive drive away. Meth is the end all. Speaking from experience. Open ur own account and realize that there are fantastic people in the world that would not be such a turd.
Gosh, he kind of sounds like a jerk....... I think you need to tell him how he behaves. Treat him the way he treats you- then maybe he will learn the good ol' quote : '; Treat others the way you want to be treated.';
Just tell him that you want some freedom, and discuss it with him, it sounds like he is good at what he does, why do you have to argue, cant you live happy without arguing?? Its not a control game
Can you say..Divorce? Why would you even think of staying with anyone who treated you like this? You need more self-esteem and deserve to be treated with love and respect! Get out before he lays hands on you! It will come!
he is an insecure man... don't take the time to call him a good guy... he is not.





if he wants to be so controlling then let him do it on his own.
he is insecure. anyone who demands control feels out of control. he is a child. good luck.
How much are you willing to put up with? That is the real question.
You need to look up verbal abuse on line. When your husband has no problem running you down, He is the problem. I don't care if he gets straight AA , A lot of people can get good grades, but they don't function well in the real world. I think I would clam up for awhile and, when he asks what wrong. I would tell him your just considering your options. When he asks ';what options'; say ';well you said it's your way or the highway'; and I'm just trying to think if I want to spend the rest of my life Not being allowed to have an opinion. Don't holler at him, just be real aloof. maybe he will start to think of what he stands to loose.


Just remember that verbal abuse often turns into physical abuse. Be careful .





jp
It sounds like he is a very insecure person and to treat you like a third class citizen, it feeds his insecurities, not to mention his ego, he has a need for power and control. As long as you allow him to have power and control over your life he will continue to do as he pleases. He needs a reality check, he gave you an option, ';his way or the highway'; if I were you I'd be on the pavement.
This sounds like a very sick and unhealthy relationship. Can anyone help you? Yes. YOU!





Nobody deserves to put up with this nonsense. He is unstable and has real problems. I bet the ';crackhead mother'; has a lot to do with why he is the way he is (sounds like he has issues with women because of her and he's taking it out on you.)





You need to put an end to this. There is no happily ever after in this situation. He needs serious counseling, and if he won't admit to having a problem in the first place, then nothing is going to change.





I really hope you realize that this is not healthy for you to live with. He's an abuser. Everything is not your fault, and saying it is because of one overdraft many years ago is idiotic. He sounds like he has VERY low self esteem, and makes up for it by belittling you.





STOP BEING HIS EMOTIONAL PUNCHING BAG!





You have job skills, and probably people that will love and support you even if you leave. If not, contact a womens group or shelter.
He is insecure and afraid he will not be able to live up to what everyone is saying. The help you seek must come from within yourself. You need to set some hard boundaries and not let him step over them. Stepping over, just once, that is the end of the relationship. Look at it this way, would you tolerate him having a affair even once, I thought not. That is the way you must view your boundaries. Like they say, men are like buses, there will be another one along in fifteen minutes.





You will be able to replace him faster than he can replace you. Let him know that you are willing to ';Upgrade.';
Dump the druggie and get on with your life. No one needs those kinds of put downson a daily basis. His mother sounds like a piece of work. Get out before you bring your dear children into this mess. You deserve a man who treats you with respect. If you can handle getting a nursing degree, you are NO SLOUCH in the intelligence department! Nurses have a huge amount of knowledge and skill.
Wow! Where does one start? I know! Now, I don't go for the bible thing much anymore but I do remember a lot of things from my earlier days. Some things are just universal and good rule. The bible says ';Wives obey your husbands';. Now, most people stop there (It's been used by men against women for years) but, read on. ';Husbands LOVE your wives';. Does it make you feel loved when he treats you like this? Is it really ';My way or the highway';? That doesn't sound like he loves you. You were seperated before and he behaved like a weak irresposnible child. He blamed his meth addiction on you?!!! Seriously?!! As for your feelings for him, I don't think it's love as much as it is hope and being used to him. You HOPE he'll stop treating you like this. You hope he'll be like he used to when you fell in love with him. You hope he won't murder you if you leave him. This is NOT a healthy relationship if it truly is how you described it. Life is too LONG to live as a slave and in humiliation. He doesn't take responsibility for his failures but takes all the glory if something goes right. One more thing. Not ALL waitresses are bar whores. Your husband is an ***. You should seriously consider getting counseling and out of this relationship for your safety.
Some women need a controlling man. My ex actually preferred that since she wasn't intelligent and had a hard time making decisions.